


now i drive alone past your street

by localspacelesbian



Series: drivers license [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, F/F, Pining, drivers license by olivia rodgrigo, let julie say fuck, semi-platonic breakup, supportive ghost friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 10:46:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28705389
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/localspacelesbian/pseuds/localspacelesbian
Summary: julie gets her drivers license and wishes flynn was there to celebrate with herbased on drivers license by olivia rodrigo
Relationships: Flynn & Julie Molina, Julie Molina/Flynn
Series: drivers license [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2107395
Comments: 8
Kudos: 38





	now i drive alone past your street

**Author's Note:**

> based on [this tumblr post](https://hunny-flower.tumblr.com/post/640059236661002240/i-think-it-works-either-way-but-flying-solo-is)

Julie got in the drivers seat of her brand new (ok, new to  _ her _ ) car. It was going to be her first time driving by herself, and she wasn’t sure who was more nervous: herself, her dad, or her boys. They’d wanted to come with her of course, but she turned them down. She wanted,  _ needed _ , to do this alone. She just got her license last week. She could  _ finally _ drive by herself, and she wanted just once, to go wherever she wanted to, to take advantage of her newfound freedom just for a moment before she inevitably spent the next couple years using it almost exclusively to go to school or on errands for her dad, always driving around her little brother or her phantoms.

She took a deep breath before turning on her music, putting on her seatbelt, and finally backing out of the driveway. She just drove, no real destination in mind.

Her mind, as it so often did these days, wandered to Flynn. They’d always talked about how great it would be when Julie got her license. Flynn was so excited for her, saying she’d be able to drive them around, or even just to Flynn’s house. (“You live literally down the street.” “It’s the principle of the thing, Julie!”)`

Suddenly, she wasn’t so sure that doing this alone was such a good idea. Her small car felt too big, too empty, too quiet. She turned up the music and tried to shake herself out of it, but as she passed by Flynn’s house, tears started to fill her eyes. She kept going. She couldn’t break down. Not here. Not now. But then she realized there was a car in front of Flynn’s house that wasn’t her dad’s or her brother’s. It was something silver and expensive-looking. And all too familiar. All it took to confirm it was a glance in the rearview mirror to see the Dirty Candi vanity license plate. Carrie. 

_ Fuck _ .

She took a shaky breath and tried to keep going, but she knew she had to stop soon. She couldn’t drive like this. She parked and sat back in her seat, rubbing her hands over her face.

Flynn. And Carrie. It just didn’t make sense.  ~~ Except it kind of did. ~~

_ “Since when are you and Carrie so close?” _

_ “Me and Carrie? What about you and Luke?” _

_ “What  _ about _ me and Luke?” _

_ “Seriously? You showed me the song you wrote about him! And it wasn’t just a song: it was a whole choreographed daydream that you came up with in the middle of dance class!” _

_ “Flynn…” _

_ “No, Julie. It’s fine that you like Luke. I mean, it’s not because he’s still  _ dead _. But I don’t care about that. You can like or date whoever you want. But can’t you at least admit that you’re so busy with him and the rest of your ghost band, that you don’t have time for me anymore?” _

_ “But I do have time for you! I tried making plans with you yesterday, and suddenly you were busy with Carrie! Carrie of all people! She spent a whole year bullying us for no reason, and suddenly you two are friends?” _

_ “Well, you can’t just expect me to sit around waiting for you to call me. And people can change, Julie. Clearly you have.” _

Julie replayed the conversation in her mind. She was still so confused. Did Flynn really think Julie was too busy for her now? That she wouldn’t drop  _ everything _ if Flynn asked her to. That she could ever love Luke, or  _ anyone _ , the way she loved Flynn. Double Trouble _ always _ came before Julie and the Phantoms. Flynn had to know that.

But she didn’t. And she wouldn’t even give Julie a chance to tell her. This was so much worse than their fight right after the boys had shown up. Sure, they were never perfect, but they’d also never fought like this before.

And Julie had never loved anyone the way she loved Flynn. It just took her too long realize it. And it was destroying her.

Meanwhile, Flynn seemed just fine. Better than ever, in fact. Julie had seen her in the hallway at school with Carrie and the rest of Dirty Candi. Alex even informed her she’d been going to their rehearsals. (And then dodged the question when she asked him how he knew that.) So Flynn was doing ok. Better than ok. And even if she didn’t understand how that could be, Julie didn’t want to do anything to get in the way of that.

She took a few deep breaths and managed to calm herself down enough to start driving again. She drove around the neighborhood a while longer, but everything reminded her of Flynn. Or Carrie. Or both. The three of them had grown up together. And now…

Eventually she made her way back home, passing by Flynn’s house again. Carrie’s car was still parked out front. Maybe she should have taken the long way home.

She thought back to the songs she’d written about Flynn (because of course there was more than just the one she’d shown her what felt like a lifetime ago). She’d said they’d be together forever, and she’d meant every word. Yet here she was, driving alone down their street.

She didn’t even go into the house when she got home, just went directly to the studio, where she knew the guys were waiting for her. She ignored their excited questions, quickly followed by worried looks, and collapsed on the sofa, dissolving into tears again. She was sure by now they were tired of hearing her talk about Flynn, but they didn’t know her like she did. No one did.  ~~ Except maybe Carrie .  ~~

She didn’t say anything, and they didn’t ask. Just came over and silently started comforting her. They were the best friends, the best older brothers she could have asked for.  ~~ But they weren’t Flynn. ~~

“I still fucking love her.”

“I know, babe.” She’d never been so grateful that her boys were corporeal to her as she was now, with Luke running her hand through her hair.

She turned around on the couch to see the three of them kneeling in front of her. “It’s like. I was just driving, and every single thing reminded me of her. Even the fucking sidewalk we used to walk down to go to school together.” She moved to make room for Luke on the couch and then put her head in his lap. “I saw that fucking road work sign a couple blocks down the street, and I could almost hear her making that vine reference. I swear I even heard her laughing. But I looked over, and she wasn’t there.” She looked up at the chairs hanging from the ceiling, not wanting to see the pitying looks she knew they were giving her. But of course that just reminded her of Flynn and Carrie, too. How the three of them had “helped” her mom hang them there. 

She sighed. “Like, I know we weren’t perfect. And I never even told her how I felt. But I just. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before, you know? But I fucked up. I missed my chance, and now she’s better off without me.”  ~~_ With Carrie _ ~~ ~~.~~ “We always said it would be Double Trouble forever, but now I have to drive alone past her house.”

“We would’ve come with you,” Reggie offered.

“I don’t think that’s what she means, Reg,” Alex said.

Julie turned to him with a small smile, reaching out to hold his hand. “No, not quite. I do appreciate it though, Reggie.” He smiled back at her.

“You know we’re always here for you, Julie,” Luke said.

She nodded. “Yeah, I know.” She’d never have to drive alone as long as she had her phantoms. She probably wouldn’t be able to, actually. But she was pretty sure she was ok with that.  ~~ Even if she knew she’d never really be able to have forever with them. ~~


End file.
